Quarter-Life Crisis

After graduating college I felt like my life had a clear path. Teaching is one of the only careers that you can actually major in and know exactly what you are going to do for potentially the rest of your life.

I was fortunate to get a job right after graduating and taught special education for three years in Otsego, Michigan. I enjoyed my job, my coworkers, and loved living with and near friends in Grand Rapids.

Prior to getting engaged I remember thinking “once I’m engaged-everything will be great-my life will finally start”.

Once I was engaged I thought “once I’m married-everything will be great- my life will finally start”. I vividly remember telling people “I feel like my life is on hold”. Jeff was already living in Ann Arbor and I was jobless, trying to plan a wedding, and living at my parents’ house.

So here I am now…married and having a quarter-life crisis.

Don’t get me wrong, I love being married to Jeff. He is an amazing husband and we have so much fun together. Marrying him was the best decision I ever made but getting married doesn’t fulfill every need you have.

I thought that after I was married everything would be perfect but that’s not how life is.

I’m writing this as a message to all those who are unwed, who feel like their life won’t start until they are married. In the Christian community, I believe there is a lot of pressure to get married and start a family. Marriage was always on a pedestal for me as something I couldn’t wait to be a part of. I didn’t think my life would be complete until I got married.

That’s wrong.

Marriage is a wonderful thing but it’s not the be all end all.

You are living your life now and it’s beautiful because of all the things that make it-friends, family, travel, work, school, etc.

Your life does not start when you get married. It continues. You’re living your life right now-don’t buy into the lie that you are incomplete while single.

So…..my quarter-life crisis. Like I said before, I thought that everything would be amazing once I got married. Yet now I find myself questioning what I want to do for the rest of my life.

I love my students but I keep asking myself “Do I really want to do this for the next 30 years?”. Ask anyone in education….it’s a tough job.

It’s scary to think about the future and with teaching sometimes it can feel very limiting.

Feeling this way is kind of unnerving but I’m choosing to embrace the uncomfortable and push myself to step out of my comfort zone. While I’m not going to quit my job tomorrow or make a complete career change- I am open to exploring my options and striving to make connections within education.

I believe that there is beauty in being uncomfortable and amazing things can come out of the messy times.

This blog is sort of a product of that restlessness.

My new vegan lifestyle came from a desire for change.

While I don’t know what the rest of my life will look like. I do know that I’m so happy to have Jeff as a partner for all the ups and downs but being married doesn’t define me and will never completely fulfill me and that’s okay—it’s not supposed to anyway.

Psalm 107:9 “For he satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul he fills with good things.”